No one can see my tears
by Minako Angel
Summary: Max has had enough. Nobody can see how unhappy he is...so he decides to take action. Will somebody finally notice his tears...? Man, I so suck at summaries...COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! Tis me with a new fic, and this time it's a three-part angst about Max!

Kai : Why not concentrate on your other fics...?

Me : They're going nowhere fast...besides, I thought I'd get more reviews this way...

Kai : Your hopeless...

Me : I know! Well, here it is...and if ya can be bothered, please review! It makes my day...go on, it'll only take a few seconds...

Kai : You sound so desperate..._sighs_…it's pathetic...

Me : ...to the fic...

No one can see my tears

Chapter 1: I cry, but no tears fall...

I smile. Again and again. What is there to be happy about?

So, we won the Asian Tournament...no real thanks to me.

I screwed up...but it wasn't the first time.

I smile, a big goofy grin that makes me look so immature.

If only it was that simple...

If only life was that simple...

Sometimes I wonder why my jaw doesn't ache.

Really, I smile that much.

And still _they _don't notice.

I mean, come on, no one can be that happy all the time.

People look at me and say; "There's Max Mizuhara, the happy-go-lucky one!"

What a load of shit.

But my mask fools everyone.

Well…I'm beginning to think that Kai is starting to suss me out…

Try as hard as you like, Hiwatari. You'll never understand me.

Not even I understand myself.

It's weird, but I feel like I should know who I am…but I don't…

I hide all my troubles behind my smile.

I force myself to laugh at Tyson's 'hilarious' jokes.

Dumb bastard. That's Granger all over.

Not that I have anything against him…he's alright…

But he doesn't know when to quit.

"Max…you okay?" Finally, Rei, another member of our high and mighty beyblade team, the Bladebreakers, comes to pester me.

"Sure!" I flash another one of those false smiles at the neko-jin. And guess what…

He smiles back at me…

"Good. I was worried for a minute there. I thought something was bothering you…"

Well done. I mentally clap him. I never thought Rei would be slow on the uptake. And yet all it took for me to get rid of him was a smile.

A fucking pitiful smile.

Of-course, I am a master of smiling now, seen as though I've done it so often.

But I've had enough of smiling.

More than enough…

"I need the bathroom. I'll meet up with you and the guys later." I tell Rei, before heading off alone. He nods at me and walks in the other direction.

It makes me sick…

No…it's worse than that…

It makes me cry…

…but no one can see my tears…

TBC

Yayness…I celebrate alone in the completion of chapter 1! I decided to add to the ever-growing Max angsts out there. All of them rock! I love reading them.

Kai : What do you mean by 'celebrating alone'?

Me : Well I might as well be. You were ignoring me!

Kai : Only 'cos there wasn't much about me in that chapter. I was mentioned once…

Me : It's a Max angst…but don't worry…you will be in it more before the fic is over!

Kai : I dread to think…

Me : Don't ya just love me! _Scary look in the eyes_

Kai : No, not really…_backs away from a crazy looking Minako_…Err, to all readers out there, please review…I fear for Minako's sanity…

Me : Heh heh heh heh heh heh…

BYEZIES!

Minako Angel out xxx

A:N/ Darn, I forgot the stupid disclaimer. Anyway, 'case ya didn't know, I don't own Beyblade…wait a minute…I don't own Beyblade…Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


	2. Chapter 2

Konnichiwa all! To the two peeps who reviewed, thankies very much. You inspired me to write this chapter! So, without further ado, to the story…!

Kai : What? I don't have a say?

Me : Nah. You can talk at the end. That's what you get for eating my dessert…

Kai : _smiles evilly_

Chapter 2: My invisible tears match the smile that is fake

'What is it with you, Max…? You always seem so cheerful and happy. But your smile…it's just so…different. Are you really as happy as you say you are, or is that smile there to protect you from the truth? Believe me, Mizuhara, I'm going to find out…a lot sooner than you think…'

So I'm going to the bathroom.

To escape the others really.

I need space and time to think.

I've had enough of being the one to cheer others up…

It's about time someone did that for me.

But they won't.

They can't.

Because they don't know anything…and I'm not going to let them.

But that doesn't explain why I can't cry.

Or maybe I can…

It's just that no one notices my invisible tears…

"Rei, you and Tyson square off against each other. I'm going to the bathroom. And no slacking, or you'll both be running laps…" The rest of the team were having a practice session. And a hard one at that as a certain grey-haired teen watched over the group. Kai was tall and cold. He was a harsh coach, but that was to be expected. He'd led a hard life.

"Erm, okay." Tyson shrugged.

"I'll video the match. Dizzi and I need some more data anyway…" States Kenny, computer nerd or computer genius. Whichever you prefer.

'I will find out once and for all what you're hiding, Max.' The stoic teen thought as he headed in the same direction the blonde had gone not long ago.

It's your fault I feel this way.

I hate you for it…and I can't believe I'll have to see you again.

Of all the places, America had to be our next destination.

I've had nightmares ever since I found out where the next tournament would be held.

But no…it isn't America haunting my dreams…it's you.

Yes, my dearest mother.

You psycho bitch.

You ruined me!

Now I'm stuck pretending to live a life I wish I had.

It's your fault my tears are unnoticed!

It's your fault my smile is false!

You hated me, and I never knew why.

Is it because of dad…?

Because as soon as I was born, you knew it was a mistake…

He stayed with you a good 12 years…then goes to Japan, taking me with him.

Without me, you two might still have been together.

I made your life miserable just by being born.

So you decided to return the favour…

What good is it now?

Trying to figure everything out.

I'm as good as dead if you find me…

Maybe I'll take the easy way out…

It's not like I'd be missed…

Sure, dad might mourn me, and the Bladebreakers…

But they'd move on.

Would you be proud of me if I could do one thing to make you happy…?

I root through my pocket and pull out my faithful green bey.

Draciel.

Who knows what will happen to him when I'm gone…?

I hope he can forgive me…

I hope everyone can forgive me…

I place the blade near my wrist.

I feel the sharpness of Draciel's defence ring on my skin.

I slide it across my wrist, watching a small river of blood flow down my arm.

Goodbye world.

I manage one last fake smile, and wonder if I can really feel tears flowing freely down my face…

Not that it matters.

To everyone else, they're invisible…

TBC

I've done the impossible…first of all, I've finished chapter 2! Yay! Second, I've got Kai to make cookies! It's true.

Kai : I was black mailed…so, anyway. I can express my opinion now, right?

Me : Sure.

Kai : I hate you. I hate this fic. I HATE THE GODDAMN WORLD!

Me : You don't have to get mad…

Kai : I don't get mad…I go MENTAL!

Me : Guess it's my turn to be scared…

Kai : HA HA HA HA!

Me : Every review you send will go towards hiring a decent psychiatrist for Kai…

Kai : I'M GONNA RULE THE WORLD!

Me : _backing away slowly_…I'll see you guys for chappy 3…

Byezies,

Minako Angel xxx

A:N/ I am aware that there is no switching of POV, sos to anyone who actually cares 'bout that!


	3. Chapter 3

Konnichiwa! Yep, I've finally written the last chappy of my fic. Sorry it's taken me sooo long, I haven't had access to a computer for a while. I'm surprised that I got more than 3 reviews! I felt so happy reading them all, so thanks everyone! Especially newest reviewer Wolf who thought Kai and I were funny! And yeah, I kept Kai away from the kitchen!

Kai : So Minako…do I play an important role in this chapter?

Me : Oh, you're back from the psychiatrist then! _Snickers_ Yeah, your going to…wait a minute, why not just read the chapter…?

Kai : I can't be bothered.

Me : I'll get you another scarf.

Kai : Fine. But I was told you stopped doing bribes…

Me : _manages a small chuckle_ Heh, small world…

Chapter 3: No longer invisible…

'Max has been in the bathroom a while…I knew something was up.' Kai opened the door to the public toilets.

His cold expression came to one of worry and slight anger.

"Max…what the hell?"

"…"

"Dammit, what were you thinking?" Kai was at the boy's side, shaking his shoulders.

"Answer me!"

"…"

"Max…! What?" The blonde was slumped against the far wall, his bright blue eyes glazed over and a terrible look of sadness and guilt pictured on his pale face.

"Maxie…What have you done?"

"K…Kai…?"

--Max's POV--

So I finally regain control of my senses again. Our 'nice' coach Kai was knelt by my side, wiping the blood from my wrist.

"B..Back off Kai…I want this…" I manage to hiss through my teeth.

I feel so faint, despite not losing that much blood. My head hurts. I have given up on everything…

I am ready to die…

"Max, listen to me, we have to get you out of here. I don't know what's going on, but I knew you weren't happy…Please…let me help you…"

Those crimson eyes, usually so piercing, looked soft. Somehow, Kai's whole face has softened up.

"I…I…"

I was lost for words…

Maybe I was wrong…

Kai might actually understand me…

--Normal POV--

Kai used his brute strength to rip off the end of his scarf, and wrapped it around Max's wrist like a bandage. He pulled the speechless blonde to his feet. (A:N/ It's Kai's moment of heroism!)

"Your gonna be okay, Maxie. We can talk later if you want…"

Max was thinking…letting what had just happened sink in.

--Max's POV--

I wanted to protest, yet part of me said that I should let Kai help me.

What have I got to lose, after all…?

Darkness beckoned me, and I felt too weak to resist it.

I felt strong arms grip me as I fell into another world…

Losing my consciousness…but, at least it's not my life…

--Normal POV-- (sos 'bout the switching…)

The blonde fainted in Kai's arms, but the coach of the Bladebreakers wasn't too concerned. Taking Max to the local hospital for a check-up, Kai realised why the boy had worn the long green sweatbands.

Deep scars made a pattern on the boy's light skin, a sure sign of abuse.

Kai frowned. He knew that he and Max would need to talk soon, but didn't want to pressure him.

"Hiwatari, Kai!" A thin brown-haired nurse came out from a room.

"Here!"

Standing up, Kai followed the nurse to the hospital bed. Max was all snuggled up in the bed, his head resting delicately on a fluffy pillow, his hair covering his eyes.

"He's fine. We've found old scars on his body too, but we can ask about them later." Smiling, she left the two alone.

"Maxie…can you hear me…?" Kai asked, sitting on the seat next to the boy's bed.

--Max's POV--

I feel like someone smacked me on the back of the head with a brick.

But, as I open my eyes, I feel something else too.

I feel…happy…

And I know why…

It's Kai.

He saved me…

"Max…you feel any better…?"

There it is again…

A voice of concern.

Finally…

Coming out of someone else's mouth…for me…

"I was…worried about you…" Kai turns away from me.

No way…Mr 'feelings are for the weak', cold Kai Hiwatari, actually worried!

All of a sudden, I feel so different.

In such a small amount of time…

"I'd better tell the others where we are." Kai stands up to walk over to the phone.

"Kai…" He pauses, wondering what I might want him for.

"Thanks…" I smile. No, not a fake one, a real one…

"Anytime…" He smiles back at me, only a small one, but that's all I need, and suddenly brings his hand over to my face and wipes something away…

It's then I realise…

My tears are no longer invisible…

Owari

And you have come to the end…I was actually quite disappointed by the ending, but decided to post it anyway!

Kai : That was a very odd fic…

Me : Yeah…you were in it! No, seriously, I just wanted a change of writing. This is my first, but definitely not last, angst fic…so I guess it's pretty lame…

Kai : Never mind, thanks for the scarf…I guess I'll see you for the next fic.

Me : Really…I thought you never wanted to work with me again…

Kai : Change of heart…

Me : Awh…that's why you're my fave muse! Well, c ya all later, I better go do something more worthwhile, like cleaning my room…_massive groan…_

Kai : _snickering_

Byezies!

Minako Angel out xxx

A:N/ For anyone who actually noticed, I only did the disclaimer once for chappy 1. So no one complain that I didn't do one, k?

I'll send Kai on ya if ya try to sue me!

Kai : HEY! That wasn't on the contract!

Me : Heh heh…

A:N/2 Yeah, I decided to put in POV's this time, but that made the story suck even more I guess! Also, the way I ended the fic could lead to a sequel. I might do one, I dunno. Last thing, why would the nurse smile when she tells Kai that Max had been abused? She's a psycho. I guess Kai's psychiatrist should see her…

Kai : That old git stopped me from world domination…revenge will be mine…

Me : Oops…guess the one I chose wasn't decent enough!

Byezies for real this time!


	4. Chapter 4

Konnichiwa mina-san! Yep, I know this story is finished and all, but I wasn't happy with the ending, so I wrote another one. Hopefully, this one is better. So, for my fic to make sense you should read chappy 2, miss out 3 and go straight to this one! Everyone got that! Also, before I start the chappy, I just wanna say I got my first flame! It was for my other fic, the World. I'm gonna say more about it in my next chapter of The World…

Kai : I give up. You are hopeless! But, for now, I can stand you more than Tyson…

Me : Awh. You're so sweet Kai Kai! _squeezes Kai who gives an anime style sweatdrop_

Kai : Get…off…me…

Me : Heh heh heh…

Kai : YOU need the psychiatrist…

Me : …I think we'll cut to the chapter…

Chapter 4: Alternative Ending

Pain.

That's all I can feel.

Physical and emotional pain.

I am worthless, so I deserve to die.

Sad, then, that there is a small flicker of hope inside me.

With the strength I have left I draw symbols on the floor.

Red symbols. I'm staining the floor with my blood.

To hell with everything!

What is the point of my life?

I am no one.

Yes, my name is Max Mizuhara.

But who really cares? Not me.

If I did, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

But the mask I hide behind protects me from such thoughts.

I was like a free spirited bird flying high in the sky. With any put down I had, I would just rise from the flames, like a phoenix.

Like Kai…

But, being so alone in my troubles, I soon realised I couldn't live the dream of being happy.

Soaring through the air, my wings were clipped.

And I plummeted back down to earth.

Falling, falling.

My wings were broken.

And even if I could fly again, through the clouds, away from the pain…

I'd be too afraid that I would be hurt again,

Afraid of falling.

Afraid of harming my ever-so delicate wings.

That is why I am so pathetic. So worthless.

I even cringe at the blood drying on my wrist…The cut keeps bleeding, and my arm is sore.

Oh what a way to go.

The great beyblader of defence.

Max Mizuhara, 'the cheerful one', committing suicide.

I can barely believe it myself…

/Normal POV/

The slate-haired teen stopped pacing outside of the bathroom door.

It had been almost eight minutes now…Too long for someone to just go to the toilet.

"I knew something was up…" He muttered, opening the door.

"Maxie…you alright?" A stupid question the phoenix boy thought, looking for the turtle.

The blonde in question was slumped on the back wall, his usually bright blue eyes were dull, and a look of sadness and perhaps guilt decorated his pale face.

His wrist was still bleeding, and Kai felt angry and worried at the same time.

"Maxie…why? Oh, what have you done?" He shook the young teen's shoulders, confusion winning over reason.

"…Max…"

/Max's POV/

Kai…

I'm surprised you came.

If I could talk, there would be so much I'd want to know.

But my throat muscles have been ripped out. A simple punishment for a disappointment like me. A loser with a fake smile.

Our coach mutters things and keeps shaking my shoulders. I wish he'd stop.

But he only does when he knows it's not helping.

What now?

He's picking me up…does this mean he…

No.

Oh, why must I hurt so?

My vision is hazy…I can't see! I'm blind!

I'm losing control over my body.

Forgetting how to talk, see and breathe…

I'm…I'm really gonna…

/Normal POV/

"Max, Maxie! Can you hear me? Hold on. C'mon, you can do it!" The slate-haired teen had picked the blonde koinu up into his arms. Feeling for a pulse, he found it so very weak.

Actual fear made the cold youth freeze.

Max's heartbeats were slowing down, and he didn't know what to do.

Usually red, piercing eyes became soft, showing panic and terror.

How could Kai Hiwatari feel so…so emotional?

As strong white hands began to shake whilst holding the younger blonde, Kai studied the boy's face.

Pale skin, a bunch of freckles, long dark eyelashes…and…

A…a smile!

It was so hard to believe.

A real smile. A real Max Mizuhara smile.

"…" Putting a shaky hand over the unconscious boy's chest, Kai's stomach lurched.

Nothing.

Not a thing.

No heart beat. At all…

A darkened shadow clouded two motionless figures. An uneasy silence filled the public toilets.

Kai was in shock, and words failed him.

What good were they anyway?

There was nobody to hear them.

The pale slate-haired teen couldn't move.

For the first time in his life, Kai cried.

Small, pearly blue raindrops trickled down the face of the guilt-ridden captain.

But what good would they do?

For no one could see his tears.

Owari

Okies, that ending I liked better, despite it not being a very happy one. In the end, Max died happy because he knew Kai cared. That Kai forgave him, and knew what sort of a person he really was. I personally think I made Kai too emotional, and, perhaps a little thick. I mean, come on, Max was trying to kill himself and he didn't do much. I guess it was the shock. You guys can understand that, right! Anyway, I'd like to know which ending you readers (if any!) preferred. If ya didn't like me killing off sweet lil Maxie, then read chappy 3 again!

Well, till my next fic then (unless you're a reader of The World), sayonara!

Minako Angel out xxx

Kai : Seen as though Minako rudely missed me out, I'm gonna give the translation…

Koinu means puppy

…And, ask you people to flame (but not like the person called 'u suck') M.A for making me such an emotional wuss! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

Me : _secretly ringing the psychiatrist's number_

Kai : _laughing like an evil genius. Ho hum…_


End file.
